So much pain, so young
Was love such a crime
Was living for someone such a sin.
Every morning I see myself
Slipping into silence, retreating into
my own shells of pessimism
To find sustenance, against abandonment.
I have no more praise left
For the friends who have left
Let me cry helplessely alone
Only after heartbreak have I felt the greatest distance
Between me and you, my pagan mistress.
I look around for proof
that I am alive,coming across,
the manuscripts of my bitter defeats,
I have no honor left,not as a son even.
I have no more patience left
for life, for more hope
My breath is a smell of burning corpses.
I’m no longer waiting, I’m simply
Pressing my ears and eyes into everything
Hoping that I won’t abandon hope too easily.
I won’t drink a cup of poison
or die in curse of sleep
cause my soul has become a song of sorrow.
I won’t rush to death,a blessing as it seems
But live as I am, pitiable, cursed
stuck with you, and our glories of past.